Monday, October 02, 2006

A Taste Acquired

It was late Friday night. There I was on my knees and completely naked, except for my CB-2000, and a studded, black leather dog collar around my neck. Mistress Edenn insists that, at any given moment, I adorn some article of clothing or jewelry that symbolizes my bondage to her. So, it has long been her requirement that I wear the dog collar during the brief periods when I am released from my cage. So there I was, doubly bound, waiting to be released from one of these instruments of bondage.

"You may free yourself."

With those words, I cut off the plastic lock to the CB-2000. I then nervously pulled away the cage section, pulled out the locking pin, and removed the ring from the base of my penis and balls. This all took about 10 seconds, may be less; by the time I had set everything on the floor next to me, I was fully erect . . . and throbbing.

Mistress Edenn laughed - she has an unbelievably sexy laugh - which only made my predicament worse. She ordered me to start stroking - but I was only allowed to use one hand. I had to put my other hand behind my back and keep it there. I was also not permitted - as I am never permitted during these brief periods of release - to use any toys (like nipple clamps or a butt plug) that might enhance my pleasure. Mistress Edenn delights in using these toys on me, but only while I am locked up, so that they cause as much frustration and torment as pleasure.

I started stroking, as Mistress Edenn had commanded. It didn't take long, at all, before I was near the edge . . . then past it. "Well, did you enjoy that, sweetie?" She innocently asked. The intense experience had left me speechless, as I sat there looking at the small puddle of cum in front of me - the puddle I knew would be going right back into my body, very shortly. "Yes, Mistress," I finally said.

"Good, very good. You know what you have to do now, don't you?"

"I have to eat my cum, now, Mistress."

"Yes," she said seductively.

I swallowed hard, bent over, and began to lick my own cum off the bare floor. I had decided the easiest thing would be to lick it up as quickly as possible - just get it done. But it tasted HORRIBLE - I can't even describe it - just horrible. And the way it felt in my mouth - disgusting! I HATED it. I kept licking, and every time I lifted my head thinking I must have licked it all up already, there was still some left - like suddenly there was a sea of the stuff. I felt like I was down there for an eternity. But finally - finally - I was done.

I sat back up, licking the remaining drops off my lips - not because I wanted to, but I had eaten most of it, I might as well get the drops on my lips so I can say that I ate all of it.

"Good boy," Mistress Edenn said, "did you enjoy that?"

I had to phrase my response very carefully. "Yes, I very much enjoyed the humiliation of eating my own cum for you Mistress." Amazingly, that was true!

"But you didn't like the taste, did you?" she said, with a reassuring tone that made me realize I could be honest. "No, Mistress."

"No, but you did it for ME, didn't you?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"I am very pleased."

And with those words all was well again! I was genuinely happy that I had suffered so much to please my Mistress. With a smile on my face, and a strange sense of accomplishment - even pride - I reached for the new plastic lock I had brought, and proceeded to lock myself back into my cage.


Friday, September 29, 2006

A Slave's Dues

Monday night, Mistress Edenn told me that, yes, she would allow me an early release, reminding me of her condition that I would have to eat my cum afterward. My hard-earned orgasm is set to happen tonight; hard-earned not only because of the meal that awaits me, but because of what I had to do that day, Monday, just for the privilege of getting a decision from my Mistress.

One of Mistress Edenn's favorite humiliation exercises is to send me out on various errands - often contrived ones - while I have a butt plug inside me. I have done this many times now. My task in this exercise is to make sure the plug remains inside me at all times, and at all cost! Anyone who's done anything like this knows that the plug starts gradually sliding out, slowly but surely - and not so slowly if you're moving about. This happens completely involuntarily. So, to make sure the plug remains inserted, I have to manually keep pushing it back inside, through my pant seat! Imagine having to do this in public - repeatedly!

Now, whenever I've had to do this in the past, it's always been just for a couple of hours. This time, however, Mistress Edenn made me go to WORK like that. I had to insert the plug just before I left the house, and was to keep it inside me until 5 PM. If it became too uncomfortable, I was allowed to remove it sooner than that; however, the plug would have to remain inside me at least until 12 noon, or else I would have to do it all over again the next work day. AND if I removed it before 5 o'clock, my orgasm would be delayed by one day for every hour that I cut my torment short. I left the house at 8 AM as usual, impaled by the 5" plug, and thinking about what the next nine hours would be like. When I got to work, however, I realized that endurance would be the least of my problems.

I don't have a private office at work, and not much of a cubicle either; I sit in a wide open space, with ten other desks around me, all occupied. Luckily, my work involves a lot of time sitting in front of a computer. But, even sitting down, the plug kept sliding out - not by much, but Mistress Edenn's instructions were that I keep it FULLY inserted, at all times. So, every 20 minutes or so, I had to reach for my pant seat, slide my hand underneath, feel for the base of the plug through the pant fabric, using just one or two fingers - in a effort to make my movement minimal and casual - and then push the plug all the way in. Every time I did this, I made a point of looking down at the chair, with an irritated look on my face - which, in retrospect, I think must have looked pretty dumb - so that it would look like I was sitting on something and was trying to remove it. Several co-workers commented on this, and I had to just keep brushing them off, and saying things like, "oh yeah, there's something that keeps poking me" or "I think a pin or paper clip, or something, must be lodged in the fabric." And every time, I got a blank, suspicious look in return.

I was in a constant state of panic.
And it was bad enough doing this while sitting down, I didn't want to leave my chair. So, between 8 AM and lunch time, I went to the bathroom only once: I literally ran there and back, which, of course, only drew more attention, and made me even more panicked. I was in agony: physically, emotionally, mentally. The only thing that kept me going - and kept me from just going into the bathroom stall and wrenching the plug out - was that I had to send Mistress Edenn an hourly email update. Her brief replies - "good boy" or "LOL" - were just enough to keep me going.

When lunch time came, I had a decision to make. Do I remove the plug and end my suffering, knowing I would then have to wait an extra five days for my orgasm? Or do I "labor on", so to speak (though I wasn't getting much done in the way of actual labor)? I decided to keep going, at least for another hour. I still couldn't risk getting up and walking around, so I just stayed at my desk. The office was mostly empty for the next 45 minutes or so, so I was a little more relaxed. When people started coming came back from lunch, however, I completely panicked. Without even thinking, I got up, went to the bathroom, and removed the plug. I don't remember the last time I felt such relief!!

Even after removing the plug, however, I spent the rest of the day in a daze. I am still a bit shaken by the experience; this was definitely one the most embarrassing experience of my life. I will probably have more to say about that day, but I will save that for future entries. For now, I have to prepare for tonight.


Sunday, September 24, 2006

Squirming for Her Decision

This evening, Mistress Edenn told me that she will inform me tomorrow night of her decision regarding my request for an early release.

She then added, "in the mean time, you will be able to improve your chances of receiving a favorable decision by making an extra effort to please me". Of course, I have been on my absolute best behavior since my request, so I knew that she had something specific in mind. When I asked what else I could do for her, she just said, "you know how much I love to see you squirm". When I replied that I was already squirming, she just laughed and said, "not enough, sweetie".

That was it! So, I write this while waiting to find out what my Mistress has in store for me, and a thousand possibilities run through my head . . .


Thursday, September 21, 2006

Acquiring Taste

Last night, I begged Mistress Edenn to allow me to come during the next few days, several weeks ahead of schedule. She said she would consider it, on one condition: I would have to eat my cum afterward.

I waited 65 days for my last orgasm, which was only five weeks ago; so, normally I would have at least another three weeks before I am allowed to come. However, working on this blog for the past few days has really gotten me worked up. So, last night, I asked Mistress Edenn for a "parole hearing", where I could make my case for an early "release". She loved hearing me call it that, which earned me some points, and she allowed me the chance to beg to be allowed to have an orgasm sooner than normal. After a long groveling session - which I enjoyed as much as she did - she agreed to consider my request, on one condition: the price for my early release would be that I would have to eat my cum afterward.

I have to admit that this has been a fantasy of mine for years, and Mistress Edenn knows this, but she has never made me do it (and I've never had the guts to ask to do it). From reading other blogs and stories about female-dominated couples, it seems I'm actually the exception - though, I suspect, not for much longer! I was shaken up when Mistress Edenn said this last night; and I haven't been able to think of anything else since (work definitely suffered today). But the more I think about it, the less apprehensive I am, and the more excited I get! In fact, I remembered today a great post which I read last month in Miss Candace's blog - Woman Rules Roost. I reread that post today - and it has convinced me that the humiliation and surrender of willingly eating my own cum to please Mistress Edenn could be an amazing experience, one that will bring us much closer together, both sexually and emotionally. So, now, I am really looking forward to the experience - that is, assuming Mistress Edenn agrees to allow me the early orgasm, in the first place.

Update 10/2: It seems the blog "Woman Rules Roost" has now been deleted, presumably by its owner.


Wednesday, September 20, 2006

A Life of Chastity, Part 3: Locked Up

Four months ago, Mistress Edenn decided to lock me in chastity device, and allowed me to pick the device I liked. I was uncomfortable in the Curve, but have loved the CB-2000, which I've worn for nearly four months now. Being physically caged and locked - with no access to the key - has left me completely at Mistress Edenn's mercy, and has allowed me to reach a new level of submission to her.

At first, I picked the Curve, because I found its styling (it's curved!) sexier than the angular "bars" look of the CB-2000. The Curve is also much bigger - the penis cage section is 4" long vs. 2" for the CB-2000 - which I thought would be more reasonable, since I had never been locked up before. However, after about a week, I found the Curve very uncomfortable. First of all, one thing that I did not expect is that even with the cage locked into the smallest base ring, there was a lot of slippage; so that my penis actually had an extra inch or so of space, for a total of 5". This meant that there was room for my penis to get a half-decent erection AND to maintain it, which it did most of the time. The constant pressure of the inside of the cage was very uncomfortable.

So, Mistress Edenn gave me permission to try the CB-2000 instead, which I've now been wearing with no problems for nearly four months. It's smaller, but its bars design is more open than the Curve. Also, the smaller cage has turned out to be better; there is so little room that whenever I get excited, the bars of the cage immediately dig in, and I never get enough blood in my penis to be even semi-erect; I'm immediately shocked back into a flaccid state. In the long term, that's been much more comfortable.

Finally, I thought I would share our experience with locks. I found I could easily pick the brass lock that came with both devices - which sort of defeated the purpose! So, we have now been using tamper-evident plastic locks, which can only be locked once, and are individually tagged with a unique serial number. It's easy to just cut the lock open, of course, but, if I do, I'm busted - I can't lock it back. And the unique serial number of the lock means I can't just replace it with another one, either. Mistress Edenn inspects me daily to confirm that the serial number on the lock is unchanged. The absolute control this has given her - not just over my orgasms, but over my penis itself - has deepened my submission to her by leaps and bounds.


Monday, September 18, 2006

A Life of Chastity, Part 2

As I mentioned in my last post, enforced chastity has been a major part of Mistress Edenn's domination of me. I've been in chastity for over a year now, typically being allowed one orgasm every two months. While I think there are submissive men out there who go for longer, two months is definitely on the long side.

Over the years, I've read a LOT about orgasm denial and male chastity. One topic that always comes up, at least in serious discussions of the subject, is the potential health problems that may be associated with prolonged denial. Ideally, the period of denial should be increased gradually over time. Also, each man is different; so, a couple should monitor the man carefully for any signs of problems, and should seek medical advice if needed. This responsibility often falls more on the woman, since the submissive male's desire to please his Mistress can be so overwhelming that he is oblivious to his own well-being (at least, that's been my experience).

So, it's important for me to say that my prolonged chastity has been with consultation and supervision from my primary care physician, whom I found through the Kink Aware Professionals directory. I had hoped to find a female doctor, since that would have amplified my submissive experience, but I had no such luck; it seems that most KAPs are men. Still, my experience with this physician has been very positive.


Sunday, September 17, 2006

A Life of Chastity

I have wanted to start this blog for a long time, but didn't think there would be much of an audience for it. However, there seems to be an imrpessive proliferation of web sites and blogs discussing female domination openly and proudly, these days. What has really encouraged me is the growing number of blogs explicitly chronicling the lives of real men and women involved in long-term, female-led relationships. I hope this blog will be a positive and worthwhile contribution to this growing community.

I've decided to jump right in, so to speak, and talk about my long-term chastity. Most men in female-led relationships are under some form of orgasm denial or restriction, for obvious reasons. For me, it's been an especially prominent aspect of my relationship with Mistress Edenn and her control over me. Mistress Edenn has kept me in chastity for nearly a year now; denying me release for six to eight weeks at a time, some times longer. In fact, I've had a total of seven orgasms in the past twelve months! The torment has been exquisite!